Glop by Gabrielle Moss

Author:Gabrielle Moss
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2016-10-10T04:00:00+00:00

How to Explain to Your Child’s Teacher That He’s Not Disruptive, He’s the Reincarnation of a 12th-Century Tibetan Lama

Beginning school can be a wonderfully enriching experience for a child—the chance to finally spread his wings, explore his interests, and make friends. Most of the time, teachers love being a part of this—they got into this business because they love to watch little people grow and develop. But eventually, you’ll come across a teacher who is, for lack of a better word, sour. Maybe she’s jealous of your child’s natural blond hair and carefree lifestyle. Maybe she’s jealous of your natural blonde hair and carefree lifestyle. Maybe you were both in callbacks for a role in a 1989 film, and you got it and she didn’t because she mysteriously fell ill the day of the final audition after eating a cup of tainted soy yoghurt that someone left out in the audition room. It’s a given in any parent’s life, so we all need to be prepared.

I recently had such a run-in in my own life, in my son Comic-Sans’s second (third?) grade classroom. During parent-teacher conferences, this teacher briefed me on what she felt was troubling behavior on the part of my son, and then presented me with a brochure on a set of behaviors called the “serial killer triad.” I felt, as so many parents do, that this teacher was misunderstanding my family, and I was confused and helpless—particularly since a close friend/mindfulness teacher/reiki coach/yoga butler had recently emerged from a weekend-long meditation trance to tell me that my son was, in reality, the reincarnation of a 12th-century Tibetan lama, and that’s why he kept belching in math class.

I talked to Irene Jamiorquai-Sanders, president of TeachAware, a non-profit, nontoxic, and non-accredited organization that teaches parents how to explain to teachers that they’re wrong. Below, I give the finer points of Irene’s patented T.E.A.C.H. method of interacting with teachers.

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